When we give our power away we end up feeling exhausted, unhappy, resentful and often times we have no idea why or where to even start to reclaim ourselves and our lives. We may have invested so much in our families, careers and those around us that we don’t even know what makes us happy anymore. This can be a precarious situation to find ourselves in because as we unknowingly dole out our energy, we drain ourselves of our vitality, and put ourselves at a higher risk for depression, anxiety, chronic pain or illness.
Here are just a few ways we might be giving our power away:
1. Feeling Responsible for Others
Do you often find yourself feeling responsible for someone else’s happiness? Do you feel you need to take care of and protect them from getting hurt?
We mistakenly believe that we have the power to rescue others from their hurts and pain but the hard truth is that we can’t live another’s lessons for them and sometimes protecting someone means stunting their growth and prolonging their struggle. There’s nothing more futile than trying to convince someone how they should think or feel. Harder yet, is to coerce someone into acting in ways that we think they should. Have you ever offered a compliment to someone only to receive a self deprecating response? Regardless of how much you believe in the compliment you’re giving, they simply aren’t going to see it that way until they are ready to make a change in themselves. For this reason, we cannot be the stewards of another person’s thoughts, feelings, actions or life and to attempt to do so leaves us in a position of powerlessness. If you find yourself having a tendency to take on the responsibility for others, it might be worth reflecting on why you are compelled to do so.
2. Not Trusting Our Inner Guidance & Intuition
Do you often find yourself second guessing yourself, your gut feeling, or what you know to be true?
In order to trust ourselves we first need to become self aware. This includes getting to know the deepest parts of ourselves so we can learn to listen to our internal compass. If we find ourselves making poor decisions or looking to everyone else for validation and feedback, it will be difficult to move forward with confidence and embrace our lives to the fullest. If this sounds like you, you may want to begin taking steps to listen to what’s really going on inside. Sign up for a meditation class, a class on spirituality, or even an EFT coaching session where you can spend some time reconnecting with who you really are and not who people want you to be!
3. Neglecting Our Self Care
Do you take the time to nurture your body, take time to rest and do the things you enjoy?
Caring for ourselves is one of the most basic ways in keeping ourselves healthy in body, mind and spirit. When we neglect to nurture ourselves, we are also neglecting to love and accept ourselves. This self love and acceptance is so important and spills over to every area of our lives from relationships to physical health. When we constantly avoid self care because we are too busy or because there is something more important to do, we end up feeling a sense of emptiness and dissatisfaction with life.
4. Putting Everyone Else First
Do you find yourself last on your priority list? Does everyone else’s needs come first? Do you find that you minimize your needs to ensure everyone else is taken care of?
There is nothing loving about sacrificing our health and wellbeing for the sake of someone else. If we are running on empty than truly, we have nothing to give. We cannot legitimately give from a place of deficiency. Finding the balance between loving and respecting ourselves and loving and respecting another is foundational to building healthy boundaries and learning to love more authentically.
5. Negative Self Talk
Do you often find yourself berating yourself, feeling like you are not enough, worrying or stressing about the day to day events in your life?
Negative self talk creates pain in our lives, erodes our self esteem and saps our vitality. The average person thinks 70,000 thoughts a day. Consider how many of these thoughts are self deprecating, steeped in fear or worry, or speak to our insecurities? If we allow our limiting beliefs, fears and insecurities free reign they will cause us to sabotage our joy, abundance, love and block us from having the things we really want. Our self talk tends to be a reflection of deeper inner beliefs and hurts. Healing these first make it much easier to align our thinking with more positive ideas.
6. Not Expressing Our Truth
Do you fail to speak up for fear of ridicule, confrontation or rejection?
Not only is expressing our needs and desires part of speaking our truth, but so is being emotionally honest. Perhaps we learned at a young age that our needs and desires didn’t really matter, or perhaps we kept quiet to avoid disappointing others, rejection or even punishment. When we fail to either, express our needs and desires, or reveal who we really are, we avoid making true connections with others. We end up hiding our true selves and giving away our power to those around us. We might become resentful, feel taken advantage of or even controlled. It's an act of self betrayal and our best selves never have the opportunity to shine.
If you’ve resonated with any of these points and are ready to take control of your life, find your freedom and let your light shine, this workshop is for you! Click on Her Adventurous Spirit for more information.